請幫我修改些作文!!thx ~~~10點_0 @ iks84im62a的部落格

標題:

請幫我修改些作文!!thx ~~~10點

發問:

02 Wehoped it was a costume party. Toby and I longed for the release fromthe cannibals, we were locked inahigh secure cage, when we heard some carols outsidebecause it was Christmas time. We thought therewas a carnival. Wefelt insecure as we knew that once the carol was over, we might becometheir delicious... 顯示更多 02 Wehoped it was a costume party. Toby and I longed for the release fromthe cannibals, we were locked inahigh secure cage, when we heard some carols outsidebecause it was Christmas time. We thought therewas a carnival. Wefelt insecure as we knew that once the carol was over, we might becometheir delicious feast on the table. There was a carpenter outside the gate, and hewas trying to build a bonfire. When he looked up into the cage, hegave us a casual wave and turned around to sharpen hisshiny tool . We knew that the weapons were used to carve somethinginteresting for him, and hopefully, not us 除了修改我的英文作文外,我想知道我有那些地方用法錯了 thx ~~~

最佳解答:

02 We hopedit was a costume party.Toby and I longed for the release from the cannibals, （you haven’t explained what/who are the cannibals…Readers won’tunderstand what you are trying to say…）we were locked in a hung-up (你想說被吊起的吧！)and secured (secure is a verb, we need an adj. now J ) cage. （點解會locked up? 同longed for the release from the Cannibals 有甚麼關係？？）It was at Christmas day then, when we heard some Christmas carols, we thought there was a lion/tiger! (Carnivore係統稱, 指一切食肉獸，likeherbivore or omnivore, wrong usage) (仲有我想問點解聽到聖誕歌會聯想到食肉獸。。。=,=) We felt insecure as we knew that once the caroling services was over, wemight become their delicious feast on the table. (你肯定食肉獸係在table上食dinner??)There was a carpenter outside thegate, and he was trying to set up a bonfire. When he looked up to the cage, he gave us a casual wave and turned back to sharpen his shiny knife. (tool 好空泛，what tool?) We knew that 他和knife was used to kill (carve 指 art 果D 雕刻 lo…) animals that were interesting to him. Hopefully, thiswould not include us.D 英文不是差得會令人吐血身亡，到最尾終於看得懂一點點。。。但你要看多點書啊～～ +油+油!! :D 2012-05-30 19:48:19 補充： sorry, a mistake, We knew that 他和knife was used to kill 他和 should be "the" therefore, the sentance should be We knew that the knife was used to kill

其他解答: